If It Were Canon A 'My Immortal' Parody
by thats-messed-up-bro
Summary: Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is a 17 year old goffik teenage vampire who cannot spell anything. One day, she gets a letter from Hogwarts saying she's a witch - Unlike the original My Immortal where all of the HP characters are raped mecilessly, they are canon in this fic, e.g, they act like they're supposed to. Will there actually be a plot? Will she learn to spell? FIND OUT
1. Chapter 1

**MY IMMORTAL PARODY**

**I am trolling here, I am not the real Tara Gillesbie (obviously). I did not write the original attrocity My Immortal, but I am bored and I wondered what if Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way went to Hogwarts and was a goffik vampire and everything, but all the other characters were canon? Like, if you just threw her into the Harry Potter world and there was no MCR, GC or goffs? So here it is, complete with authentic grammatical and spelling errors and author's notes telling the preps to stop flaming. Enojy :D**

AN: Iz it good? Plz tell me fangz (geddit? Cuz im goffik)to nbody cuz I did dis mahsulf.

Chapter 1

Hey meh name iz Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way nd I hav long ebony black hair (thatz how I gt my nam) wif purlpe streaks and red tipz dat reaches my midback. Meh paruntz hate me cuz I am goffik. I live in Longdon nd I am seventeen yrs old. I'm a vampire bt I dnot hav fangz. I buy all meh cloves frum Hot Topic (AN: if u dnot nuw wat dat iz den go fuk ursulf). For example, tody I wuz waring a black corset thing with red lace, a balck leather bra, a mini skrit and a thong and red platinum boots. I also I slp in a coffin dat I fund in a junk yrd. Meh parentz hat it bt I dnot cre.

I woke up and lokked arund da room b4 opening mah eyes. Meh wallz wer pnk bt i hat pink itz such a preppy colur. So i stuk picturz of Gerrard Way n MCR all ovr it. I felt a littel deprzzed then su I slit muh ristz nd listned 2 sum MCR. I walked out uv da coffin nd to da bathrom 2 hava showr. I had a shower. I usd ma blakc GC towl. Den i wunt dwnstars.

"OMFG Enoby did u slit ur ristz agen?!11" SAID MY Mom terrifidly.

"Yah wt r u gona do bout it bich!?" I shouted goffikally. She fel 2 da flur n startd 2 cry.

"Eboby der is sum pst fer yeh" shouted ma dad quietly. I ran 2 deh door nd der wuz a letter 4 me it wuz frum... Hogwurts Skull (geddit? cuz I'm goffik nd i lik deff) of Wizrdz!111


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I wuz so hapi when i gt da lettr frum Hogwurtz dat a wnt upstars nd slit muh writs moshing sadly 2 MCR. I srtd paking mah stuf strat awy.

"Ebody!" muh mom caled frum da kitshen. I run sexily to da kitchen.

"Wt iz it?" i esked suicidally.

"Da u wnt to go 2 dis Hogwurtz skool?"

"OMFFG YESSSSHHHH!111111111" I yeilded wildly. Su I wnt 2 pack muh stuv.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I hadd all muh stuff da nxt day when i wunt 2 platfrum 9 and 5/4. I stood goffikally on da pltform wtin 4 da train 2 leev. Den dis gurl cam up 2 meh. She had brwn hair nd wuz wering da skull unifrm.

"WT prep!?" i shooted sadly.

"No I'm a Hogwarts student," she sed grammatically correkt.

"Only prepz wer da unform," i sed.

"What's a prep?" she asked, "and what's your name?"

"eW Y DO YOu wnt 2 knu mah nam u sik perv!?" i croyd smexily. Da girl sed nuthin. She just got a dude-ur-so-retarded lok on hr face. "Mah nam is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way". I toldd hr.

"My name is Hermione Granger," said da grl.

"Dats a stoopid nam u shuld chong it 2 B'loody Mary Smith,"I sed.

"Why is your name Dementia?" she askd.

"Fuk u prep dnot mak fun uv meh!"

"Are you new? I'm in Gryffindor," sed da prep.

"Fuk u only prpz n posrs r in grifndoor!"

Den da tran cam so I left hr nd went 2 fnd sum goffs.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4. Da Tran

I wuz satted on da tram in a comprtnmt wiv mah new goff frendz, Tara and Raven. Dey wer da best goffz jst lik me nobudy understooood dem. We wuz listnen 2 MCR on mah ipood nd slittng are ristz when dat prep frum b4 cam in wiv 2 guys. One of dem lokked jst lik Daniel Radcliffe and da udder lokked jst lik Rupert Grint.

"What are you doing!?" shooted da preppy grl Hermone.

"Listng 2 MCR u prepz nd slitting ur ristz," sed Raven.

"Fuk uff u prepz," said Tara. Hermoine ignured dem.

"Hey Ebony I thought you could come and sit with us since you're new," she offrd.

"Nu tanks I unly sit wiv udder goffs nt u prepz, whore ur preppy frinds?" i asked sexily.

"This is Harry Potter and this is Ron Weasly," she said, pointing 2 dem.

"OMG u guyz shud chang ur nams 2 Vampire nd Diabolo," i said.

"Iv sad dat b4," said Raven 2 meh. "Dey are stupid preppy fukers dey wunt lizten!111 she said arngrily.

"What's a prep?" usked Hary.

"Ppl who dnut lik MCR nd GC!11!" i shooted.

"Who?" asked Rjon.

"Fuku prepz go awuy or well kill u11" sud Tara seductively.

"OK..." said da prepz. "Bye then, Ebony," sed Hairy annoydly. I coud tell he wnted meh badly.

"OMG Ebondy does prepz r so dumb cmon lets hav a gruup kutting seshon!" said Tara. Den da prepz were gone. i gut mah Invincibility Coka out uv mah bag den da trolly womn cam rund wiv food.

"Bich do u av any blud?" I asked goffikally.

"Oh no, not another goth..." she muttered to hurslf.

"FUK U PREP" i shooted. i slammed sexily the door 2 our compartmnt. Den we gutted chonged in2 mur cloves.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Da tran wuz almust in da staton in Hogsmed. We wuz listenin 2 MCR nd cutting urselves sexily. Bt den, suddenly, da musik went of!111111

"OMG WTF!111" i yielded furisly.

"NOOO OUR GOFFIK MUSIC!11" shooted Tara sadly. I wuz so deprezzed dat da ipod had stuped wrkin dat i slit muh ristz. Den, in cam... Draco Malfoy!

He wuz so sexah lik Tom Felton when i cam into da compartmnt and i wunted himeven tho he wuz dressed lik a prep.

"Are you guys all new? What are your names?" he asked. i wunted to fuuk him.

"Wutz ur nam?" i asked suicidally.

"My name is Draco Malfoy," he answrd, tho i alrudy knew whod he wus.

"My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way," i said, looking intu hiz deprezzing eyes.

"Err, Ebony, why are you looking at me like that..?" he asked confusedly. Den i realissed dat i was rubbing agenst him. He stepped bak out uf da comptmant.

"OMG U PREP I CUNT BELEEV U DNOT WUNT ME BADD!111" i shouted goffikally.

"Whatever, goths. You'd better get your uniforms on,' he sad. Den he left uz.

"OMG Raven dint u fink dat guy wuz so hott!?" exclomed Tara.

"Yeah. I cunnut beluv dat hes a prep tho, we hav 2 mak him goffik," sid Raven.

"Yah we need Amnesia portion," said Tara "we shuld mak sum at skull."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

We gutt of da tran in Hogsmead. We sow the tree bromstix. I lokked arund for da Hot Topic bt didtn see it.

"OMG Raven were is da Hot Topik!11" I shooted.

"What's Hot Topic?" aske ddat prep Hermion.

"OMG u prep u dnot knuw wt Hot Tupik is!11 Its wer I buy a muh cloths!1" I shoted.

"Where's your uniform? Didn't you go to Diagon Alley?" se askud.

"WTF is dat sum preppy store"! shouted.

"It's where you get all your stuff from, like your wand," said da prep.

"Oh I hav a wand." i sed, pulling mine oot. "Crookshanks!" i yielded.

Suddenly, dis massiv ginga fing jumped out at meh frum behind a wal!11111111111

"That's not a spell, that's my cats name," said dat stupid preppy fukker.

"WTF do u know bich ur a prep!11"

"She's top in the year," sed Ronn, cummin ovr.

"FUKU!1" and i thrud da kat at dem. I shut mah eyez, when i opened dem i expucted da prepz to be on da floor cring lik all prepz do bt dey were not. da cat hd run awaiy. I wuz so angry at dem for nut cryin dat i started crying tearz of blood.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" asked Hairy, dat fooken prep.

"FUK U!11" i cried sexally, den i run away. Raven and Tara cam 2.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I wuz running away wen suddenly I run into dis sexy goffik guy. He was so hott. He was wering a black MCR shit wiv red writing on it and skinny jens. He had spiky goffik blak hair wiv bleached blond striks in it. He was soo sexah i ulmost had a orgasm. He had black eyes dat were all kewl (he wuz wering color contactz). He was so sexy i dindt fel surry anymor.

"Hi," I said flirtily, cring tears of blud.

"Hi," he sed bak, "r u goffik?" he asked.

"Yah", i sod. "Every1 here is a fuken prep!11 I fought it wuld be all goffs and stuff, but ders only 4 of uz1111" i shooted seduktivly as Raven nd Tara cam running up behind meh. "Muh nam is Ebory wutz urs?" I uskd sexally.

"Mah nam is Justin," he sed runnen his hind thru is goffik hare.

"Kawii, letz go 2 da skull den 2 get sorted."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

We wuz walking 2 da skull wen suddenly dis gang of prepz cam up 2 us. Dey were wering preppy cloves, nut da unform. Dey were all werin red nd pink nd blue dose preppy colurs and all dere clothez were frum hollostar nd amerkan egle.

"Hey u goffs, wtf r u doin in are skool!11" sad da ledder.

"Dis is nut ur skull fuken prepz," said Raven.

"ALLAH KEDAVA!11" yolled one of da prepz suddenly. Raven fell unta da grond rollin rund cryin tearz of bluud.

"CROOKSHANKS!" i shotted. da prep whod shut Ravon felld 2 da grund. "Crosio!" i tortuured hor. We all laffed cuz were sadists. Da prepz ran away cring. We went up 2 da kastle and into da grate hall.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

AN: to all da goffik ppl culd u give me revoiws to tell meh if its god r nt fangz

ps i dnot cr if u flam r not prepz n posrz

We were in da grate hall wif all da udder new ppl. All da prepz lokked at us. I stuck mah middle finga up at dem. Den it wuz tim 2 b sorted.

"Way, Ebony?" call prfezzor McGoogle. I walked sexily up to da stool nd sat on it. She suicidaly put da hat on mah hed.

"SLYTHERIN!" shooted da hat. I expucted cheerin bt der wuz nun.

"Fuk u prepz!11" i yielded to da tabel. Den i went 2 sit down at da end un ma own 2 wait 4 Tara, Raven nd Justin.

Dey wur all sortd in2 Slitheran jst lik meh. I wuz rly happi. I didnt lik bein hapi do, so i slit muh ristz. Every1 sturted screming den a fanted. I wuz all frekked out i had nvr faintd b4 frum slitin mah ristz.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I wooked up in da hospitul wing. In da bed opposit wuz... da prep i shoted wif ma wand!111 She wuz aslep. I laffed. Den i reelizd i wuz in a bed, not a coffin!11 I wuz so angry dat I leapt out uv da bed and suked all da blud from dat preppy bich.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" shooted da norse cummin out of da office.

"I am a vampir," i sed goffikaly.

"No you aren't! I'm getting Dumbledore to come and sort this out,' she sed. I sattd in da bed angrily whn she lft. Den, suddenly, Justin flu thru da window wiv Tara and Raven!1111111111111111

"OMG Enoby u gotta cum!11" i ejaculated sexily out uv da bed den i jamped on da brom wiv Justin. We flied away. Den me and Justin strtd making out sexily. Raven nd Tara both clapped cuz we looked so sexah togetha.

We were at da entrance 2 da skull. We wend insid nd threw a dor 2 da slithern cummin rom. Draco Malfoy wuz sitten dere wiv a grl nd 2 boiyz.

"Hey Drako," i sed sexally. He cronged awai frum meh. "I hav a bf nuw were gonna go du you-know-wut so u cant have muh now!1112" i shooted.

"That's disgusting! My father will hear about you being here, you... you... _goffs_!" hee shotted. I put mah finga up at him den me nd justin went 2 da grls dorm 2 do u-know-what. He had a rly big u-know-what. Den, suddenly, I saw a tattoo on his cok dat said... TARA!11

"OMFG u dik i cant belive u r cheting un meh wiv Tara!111" i yielded. I put mah clovs on. Den I ran oot uv da rom inta da cumaon rum. Justin ran afta me even tho he wuz nekkid.

"Ebony! Ebony! I didnt chet on u!" he shooted. But i tuld him to fuk uv.

"OH MY GOD YOU ARE CRAZY!" shoted Drako Malfuy. "_Petrificus Totalus!11" he pointd his wund at meh nd i full ovar on2 da flor. I cudnt mov._

_"U PREPPY FUKER!11" bt it was too lat 4 Justin. Drako used a spell 2 make him were clovs now he wuz wering a blak dresin gown but his you-know-wut wuz so big i cud still see it. Darkoo wuz sick from da sigt ov it._

_"OMG ur nut bi!11" i shotted at him. "U homophone!"_

_Den 1 of hiz massive preppy frundz kicked meh in da face._

_AN: Tell meh if itz jst lik da real 1 plz nd it will gt more canon l8r _


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Suddenly, I wuked up in da greffendor cummon rom!11 AND I WUZ TIED UPP!11111111111!

"OMG WTTF WERE DA FUQ M I?!111" i yielded.

"Ebony, you're in the Gryffindor common room," sed dat preppy bitcch Hermione, "we need to ask you some things."

"Wt if il rap u r somting?" i said.

"Ew, that's disgusting. How can you live with yourself saying things like that?" sche askud.

"Cuz im goffik!11" i replid. "Just cuz ur too preppy 2 hav a boyfrnd!11"

"What's a prep?" askeed Run.

"ur a prep STFU u fuken preppy cont!111"

"Why are you depressed?" shed hermon.

"Cuz am goffick biches!1!1"

"Why?"

"Cuz i huv ishows, ok preppz?"

"Get the veritaserum," sihed Heminoe.

"OMG WTF r u gonna give muh amnesia portent!?" i cruwd.

"Um... No... A truth potion," expland da prep. Hairy had da veal wif da potin in it. dey furced meh ter drunk it.

"FUK U PRUPZ!11"

"Now tell us, what is a prep?"

"Someone who isnt goffick." i sud bt i cud nut cntril mehsulf!11 Fuken prepz!

"Why are you depressed?"

"because being depressed is cool and goffick," i sed turthfelly.

"Come on Hermione, we're just wasting our time on this Slytherin," sud Ron.

"Yeah, let's just give her back to Malfoy," said Horry.

"Yeh gev muh bk da real goffz!111" i showtd. Dey gav up wit meh nd put muh bk un da dungonz wiv, Justin, Tara nd Raven.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

HARRY'S POV

Harry sat down by the fire in the common room in his favourite puffy armchair. Ron and Hermione were sat down in the other two.

"I swear, they're multiplying," said Seamus Finnigan, giving his opinion on the 'goffs'.

"They're not dogs," said Hermione sternly.

"Are you sure about that..." muttered Ron to himself. She glared at him. "We need to get rid of them completely, we can't just keep sending them back to Malfoy."

"We need to learn about them," said Harry.

"How?" asked Ron.

"That's IT!" said Hermione suddenly.

"What?" asked Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean at the same time.

"Harry, you're not going to like this, but I think we need Malfoy's help," she answered.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

DRACO'S POV

"Absolutely not, Mudblood," Draco spat at Hermione, who had been tailing him and his gang since potions trying to explain some wild plan to get rid of the goffs.

"But you've got to do it, after we get rid of Justin it'll be easy-"

"I said NO you stupid Mudblood, I'll just live with the goffs. Better than helping a muggle-born," he shoved past her.

"What, you really want to have to see Justin's _parts_ again?" she said. Draco was almost sick at the foul memory. Just then, he saw his chance. He barged into the boys bathroom where she couldn't follow. Unfortunately, Pansy Parkinson was stuck outside as well, leaving Malfoy alone with just Crabbe, Goyle and Zabini.

"It would be good if you could get rid of those damn goffs," said Zabini.

"Did anyone ask you for your opinion, Blase? Did they?!" Malfoy shouted, angry and confused. Zabini said nothing but leant against the wall.

Outside Hermione and Pansy were stood on either side of the door.

"You're plan's stupid, scum," she jeered. Hermione was so used to the regular insults from the Slytherins that ignoring them was second nature by now.

"The goffs are stupid," she said. Pansy shrugged. "So you don't want rid of them too?"

"I don't care, so long as Draco is happy," she snorted. There Hermione's efforts at some kind of conversation ended.

A short while later, Draco burst from the bathroom, cronies following suit.

"Granger?" he said, "I'll do it. Anything to get rid of the goths."

AN: I prniz it wul becom all retred agun lik dis in da nxt chapta i jst wuntd ther bt mor uv a plot 2 diz.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Me nd Jastin wur sat in da greate hall. We wuz lokkin at da prepz at da Hufflepuff tabel. Da huffelpoffs dednt lik da prepz bt dey wur all prepz anyway su it didtn mattr. I stuk mas middel finga up at dem. 1 uv dem strtd 2 cry. I laffed cuz im a sadist.

Den, suddenly, dat prep Ernie Macmillan gut up frum da hofflepuff tabel nd he shooted... "_Levicorpus_!"

Suddanly i wuz hangin in da air frum mah ankle!111

"_Reducto_!" he shotted again, dis tim ponting da wound at... JUSTIN!1111

"NO!11 JUSTIN!11" i yelled. "CROOKSHANKS!11" i ponted mah womb at Erni bt nothin happund!

"That's not a spell, you idiot!" he shoutd stupidly. Justin wuz frown 2 da wal behind him and he wuz uncoincidental!11 "_Liberacorpus_!" den i fall 2 da flor. I suw Arnie do anodder spell un Justn bt i dnot knuw wut it wuz.

"OMG JUSTIN R U ALRIT!11?" i yeilded secxily.

"Ebony..." he sed. I crowled ovar 2 hm. "I... I hate you... I hate being goffik... I'm breaking up with you..." he sed. Den i ponched hm n da moth nd i wuz DED!111111 Bt i didnt car cuz hes a posr dik!11

Den i fught i shud tell Tara nd Raven and go 2 da Slethrn conman rom. So i came.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I wuz in da Slythrn cumman rom when i saw Tara and Raven. Dey were seging sum MCR sungz cuz are ipods wudnt work in da kastle. I wuz 2 deprezzed 2 sing wit dem su i sat n da sofa nd i slit muh ristz.

"OMG Enony WTf is wrong, bich!?1" usked Tara.

"Itz justin dat pozer prep hez borken up with meh!11"

"Ur 2 good 4 him anywuy Eboby," sad Ravun, "ur way 2 sexah!1"

"FUK UV U BITCHS!11" i sed sadly. Dey strtd cring tearz off bood bt i did'nt care. Den, someone came! IT wuz...DRACO MALFOY!1111 Nd he wuz dressed all sexxy nd goffik jst lik Gerrard Wai. He wuz wering a blak shirt wiv black pants nd lots of black eyelinr nd nail polsh. He lokked suh sexah dat i wusnt mad anymur.

"Hey Enoby," he said goffikally.

"Hey drako," i said seduktively.

"Well... deres an MCR concurt in Hogsmed 2nite do u want 2 cum wiv me?" he esked.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!11" i shooted. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!11"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16. Da Cuncurt

On da nite uv da concert i put on a long goffik black dress dat said MCR all over it in gothik blakc letterz. I hat blak nee high platinum boots on. i had black lipskit, whit fondation n lots of eye lnr and iShadow. I had blk nail polish on wit red pentagrms. I painted muh hare with red. Den i wuz redy 4 da concurt.

I saw Draco wating 4 meh in da cumen rom. He was werin da sam stuv hed wurn b4 bt i dnot car cuz he still looked rly sexah.

"R u redy 4 da concurt?" he esked.

"Yah" i said suicidallly. We wunt outsid 2 his fling bluk care. I smuked some wed in da cur bt Darko said he didnt wunt any, he sed he wuz saving all hiz durgz til afta da concert.

We gut 2 da concurt. Dere wuz nbody else der, jst uz.

"OMG DRACO WHUR IS EVERY1?" i sed goffikally.

"Dis is a spucial conkert jst 4 u, ebony!" he unsared. I wuz so happy i slit 1 uv mah ristz. Den... da band cam un da stage! Dey wur all wurin da musks lik slipnot, bt i didnt car i jst wunted 2 her Gerardz sexah voise.

Bt, b4 anybody had startd 2 play, dey tok off da muskz! It was... Harry, Ron, Ernie and Seamus!

"_Stupefy_!" 5 ppl shooted at once. Draco had shottd meh!111

"u.. posr..." i sed, b4 evryfing wuz black.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

AN: OK, diz will probz b da lst chapta 4 a while cuz im away diz weekend, bt i prumiz new chaptas on Monday 3rd September! Plz revoiw, fangz 2 da goffik ppl 4 reding diz!11 Also, Jstin, Ebony's ex, iz called dat cuz uv Tara Gilesbie's bf iz culled Justin. Hez nut a goffik version uv Justin Finch-Fletchley, if anybody wuz finking dat. BTW i knuw itz supposd 2 b in HP charktors POV's, su im surry if itz not lik Rowling's riting style, i cba tryin 2 mimick it. Oh, nd alsu itz in deir 6th yrs.

DRACO'S POV

Draco held his wand out, it was still pointing straight at where Ebony's head had just been. Now the Mary Sue was lying motionless on the floor, having been hit directly with twelve stunning spells. Draco had no idea of the effect the spells would have on the goff, she may even be dead, but that didn't matter. He didn't have time for silly "goffs", not when he had the Dark Lord's bidding to do.

But that didn't matter for now, he had to focus on what was going on right then. Harry, Ron, Ernie and Seamus all jumped down from the stage, dropping the instruments. The other people involved in the ambush all came from the surrounding trees. Hermione and Ginny were the Gryffindors who emerged; Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle were the Slytherins, plus Luna Lovegood as the sole Ravenclaw. They gathered around the body. But it was breathing.

"Will she die?" Ron blurted out suddenly.

"No," Hermione answered.

"Damn," muttered Ron to nobody in particular, though he looked disappointed when nobody laughed at his failed joke.

"_Tergeo_," said Draco, pointing his wand at his face to syphon off all the horrible goffik makeup. "What's the rest of this plan, Mud- Um, Granger?" he asked. Hermione ignored that almost use of 'Mudblood'.

"Well to be honest, there wasn't much of one, we just need to get rid of Ebony's body now, but it should be a good, long few hours before she wakes up. Five stunners... McGonagall took that many last year and ended up in St Mungo's," she answered.

"We are _not_ taking _that_ to St Mungo's," Draco drawled disgustedly._  
_

"That wasn't my plan," Hermione snapped coldly.

"Why don't we just dump her in the forest?" Harry suggested.

"Yeah, that'll work," Malfoy agreed. The pair met eyes and glared at eachother, even when they were working together and they agreed they hated one another.

"We can't go into the forest at this time of night, it's almost midnight, there's all sorts lurking in there," said Hermione, flattening their idea. All eleven of them glanced nervously at the forest, which wasn't too far away, and, as if on cue, they heard the galloping hooves of centaurs stampeding from somewhere within. Draco shivered, remembering that the last time he'd gone into the forest he'd run into Lord Voldemort.

"We could go to Hogsmeade?" suggested Luna airily. She had her spectrespecs on and was constantly scanning the air around their heads for some strange, non-existant creature.

"What're you doing?" Draco asked her. All the Gryffindors and Ernie groaned, whereas the Slytherins (at least, Pansy) nodded in approval of his questions. _He's got her started now_, thought Harry to himself.

"Looking for Nargles," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Looking for _what_?" he stammered, taken aback by the mention of a creature that he'd never heard of. Then again, he never paid much attention in Care of Magical Creatures, not with that oaf Hagrid in charge anyway, nor had he cared much for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Not until Snape started teaching it, anyway.

"They're-" Luna began explaining, but thankfully Hermione cut her off.

"We can't go to Hogsmeade, there's too much security this year," she said.

"Oh, I have an idea!" Ginny exclaimed suddenly, and loudly. So loudly she was hushed by the other ten members of the Goff-Exterminators. "Sorry," whispered Ginny, "anyway, what if somebody transfigured her into an animal?"

Finally, they agreed on Ginny's plan. Then, even longer later, they agreed on what animal. An owl, something nobody would suspect of being a student. Harry would have to sneak up to the Owlry later under his cloak. Then it was down to the rest of them to get back inside without being seen. If only there were less than ten...


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

AN: OK, so from now on i've decided to write a lot of it in the point of view of the HP characters, but i promise there will be parts that are still horrifically spelt and grammatically incorrect if that's what you wanted :D. It's just, when writing from Ebony's POV it's basically the same as 'My Immortal', and I don't want it to just be her fucking people and insulting preps for the whole time, and I think it'll be cool to show what the canon HP characters think of the goffs when they're in Hogwarts. So sorry if you just want to read nonsense bullcrap for 40 chapters or whatever (I doubt this will be that long) I suggest you find another fic to read, but if not stay tuned! Also, it's very tiring having to purposely write in mistakes like that. BTW the chapters will be quite long from now on, and i'll post one every day. Oh, but Ebony's dialogue will be misspelt.

HARRY'S POV

Harry carried the unconscious Owl-Ebony roughly and uncaringly. She had turned into a black owl, with purple feathers randomly inserted into the sea of black, and read tail feathers. He couldn't help thinking those colours for an owl were quite ridiculous, and would probably make the owl stand out a mile, but hopefully nobody would suspect a thing.

He crept through the castle and up the stairs to the owlery, happy luck was on his side that night and he hadn't bumped into anybody, not even Mrs Norris patrolling the corridors. Nope, Harry hadn't seen her huge, crimson eyes looming out of the darkness ahead, or her small, rigid, stiff form skulking out of a classroom ahead of him.

Finally, he made it to the owlery. Straw and birdseed littered the floor just outside the heavy wooden door. Harry reached for the handle, but to his shock it didn't turn. And to even further build on his fear, a voice floated out of the shadows behind him.

"Got you cornered, invisible man. I've been going after you for six years now..." droned the gruff voice of Argus Filch, the caretaker. Harry gulped, listening to the old man's rant, and flattened himself upon the wall as Filch limped forwards. For a few breif moments he thought Filch would dispell the noise of the footsteps and the creaking handle, and maybe he would have, if the black, red and purple owl in his arms hadn't awoken.

She woke, squawked, flapped her wings wildly, pecking at his hand. In the chaos of all this, Harry, still gripping the owl tightly, made a break for it, knocking Filch over. Then, he felt his father's old cloak slip from his shoulders and fall to the floor with a soft _whump_. But Harry was determined still not to allow the owl to escape. He started to run, leaving the cloak behind. He would get it another time, Dumbledore would know what to do, Dumbledore would help him in the matter of the cloak, but right now he was just speeding through the empty school, footsteps echoing off the stone, desperately trying to make it to the Gryffindor common room, trying to beat Filch.

But he failed. He knew that as soon as he saw ahead of him the other ten accomplises, being marched into Professor McGonagall's office by the woman herself, complete with tartan nightgown. She looked furious. Harry tried to back off and duck round the corner to hide in another room, but Owl-Ebony alerted the teacher to his prescence. She glared needles at him.

"Potter, come with me," she ordered. He did as told and trudged guiltily into the office, taking his place at the front of the group, Owl-Ebony screeching wildly.

"_Stupefy_," muttered Ron, casually aiming his wand at the owl. She was silenced instantly, which made Harry relax a little. McGonagall walked past them all and sat down at her desk.

"Take those of, girl," she snapped at Luna, who still wore her spectrespecs. They made her look almost as much as an owl as Ebony did. She removed the glasses reluctantly. "What are the..." she did a headcount "_eleven_ of you doing out of bed at this hour? A duel perhaps, between 'Dumbledore's Army' and the old members of the 'Inquisitorial Squad'?" she threw out wild suggestions.

"Yes that's it, a duel," Malfoy said quickly. He didn't know the way McGonagall worked, having only been in trouble with her a few times. And not nearly this severely before. She glared at him.

"If, Mr Malfoy, you expect me to believe that then you take me for a fool. Why do you have this ridiculous owl with you?" she asked, nodding at Ebony.

"We found it outside," said Harry flatly.

"Oh really? And was it that ridiculous colour when you found it? Strange how it resembles Miss Way's hair colour, isn't it, Miss Granger?" she turned her scruitiny in Hermione's direction. Hermione bit her lip.

"Yes, strange. I didn't notice..." she muttered, shifting her weight uneasily.

"Miss Granger, did you transfigure Miss Way into an owl?" asked McGonagall, getting straight to the point.

"Umm..." said Hermione, glancing at the others for instructions. They all remained stony-faced. McGonagall took her long hesitation as a 'yes'.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because we hate her!" Draco shouted. The others nodded slowly.

"And is that any reason to turn her into an owl, Mr Malfoy!?" McGonagall demanded. "And _why_ are you wearing those horrible clothes?" Malfoy glanced down at the black, muggle clothes he had donned. They were a little to big for him, since they'd been Justin's that had been stolen. But Draco had made sure they'd been washed beforehand.

"Well... Yes. You haven't had to deal with the goffs though, Professor," said Malfoy, "I'm sure if you were their head of house you'd understand. And these clothes were just to trick Ebony."

"Are you saying that if I get Severus to come up here, at this time of night, he will back up this ludicrous story about "goffs"?" She asked wearily. Malfoy and the other Slytherins all nodded briskly. McGonagall sighed and conjoured her cat patronus, giving it a message to deliver to Snape. It ran off like a ghost making no noise.

Then McGonagall pointed her want at the unconscious owl in Harry's arms. She waved it an a jet of light burst out, hitting the owl. Then, Owl-Ebony began to grow. Harry dropped her as she slowly reverted to human form. Everyone stepped away from her, then, Ebony, complete in goffik attire, was lying on the floor, once again human. She was still knocked out however.

"_Rennervate_," murmured Hermione, pointing her wand in Ebony's general direction. The Mary Sue leapt to her feet. She stared around, and dived for Draco.

"U FOKEN PREP WTF DID U DO 2 MEH!?111" she shouted. She looked like she was trying to bite his neck.

"_Impedimenta_!" Malfoy cried, trying to aim his wand, but it missed and instead headed straight for Ernie Macmillian, who managed to cast a shield charm just in time, which deflected the jinx straight into Ebony's back, where she collapsed onto Malfoy, who shoved her away, scooting back up against the office wall. McGonagall watched the exchange with wide eyes.

"Why has she attacked you, Malfoy?" McGonagall asked, confused.

"We tricked her into coming to a fake concert using Malfoy as bait, then stunned her," explained Hermione.

"Who stunned her?" asked McGonagall.

"Me, Ron, Seamus, Ernie and Malfoy," said Harry.

"Five direct stunning spells!?" McGonagall exclaimed, bewildered. "How long ago was this?"

"About half an hour, she woke up five minutes ago," Harry answered.

"Any human hit directly with five stunning spells wouldn't wake up for over six hours at least."

"Well... She does think she's a vampire," said Malfoy.

"Excuse me?"

"Honestly, she just tried to drink my blood. She thinks she's a vampire."

"She _thinks_ she is, that wouldn't give her superhuman powers though, and she is obviously not one," said McGongall. Suddenly, three figures burst into the room. Justin, Tara and Raven, Justin only in underwear. It was then that there was a retching sound, everybody looked to see Malfoy vomiting onto the floor. Pansy shreiked and ran to his side.

"_Obscuro_," she muttered, and a blindfold fell over Malfoy's eyes, which thankfully caused the vomitting to cease. Though the smell was still there.

"FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, BOY!" yelled McGongall.

"FUKU PREPZ!11" Justin shouted his answer. "Wut hav u dun wit muh grlfrund!?"

"_Incarcerous_," came a cold voice from behind them. The three goffs were bound together in rope. Severus Snape was standing behind them, after getting McGonagall's patronus. Snape then used the same non-verbal spell Malfoy had used before to clothe Justin, much to his annoyance.

This encounter was really the only time Harry was glad of Snape's extensive Defence Against the Dark Arts knowledge, because he could answer the first question that came out of McGongall's mouth.

"Severus, how long would it take for a vampire to awaken from five direct stunning spells?" she asked desperately.

"Why?" drawled Snape.

"Because this group claims Way over there was hit by five direct stunning spells, and she woke up merely half an hour later, and after she had been transfigured by Miss Granger into an owl," McGongall said.

"That is ridiculous, these children are obviously lying," said Snape. Harry glowered at him. Snape pretended not to notice.

"No sir, it's true," said Malfoy. Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle all nodded. Snape raised an eyebrow.

But then a huge mass launched itself at Malfoy. Again. But this time nobody was ready, since they had all been looking in the opposite direction.

"_Protego_!" shouted Snape, bringing his wand sharply downwards and aiming it at Malfoy. The sheild charm struck, sending Ebony backwards into the wall again, where she became bound just like her friends. Pansy pulled off Malfoy's blindfold so he could see what was going on. At least he wasn't going to vomit from the sight of Justin again.

"FUKU PREPZ!11" she cried.

"Do not use profanity near teachers," said Snape, flicking his wand upwards. Ebony's rant stopped, replaced by mumbles and grunts from Snape's tongue-tying charm.

"She was impedimented" (AN: sorry if that's the incorrect verb) "just a few minutes ago by Malfoy," said McGonagall, "Severus, can you justify these students trying to get rid of this goth-"

"Go_ff_" corrected Harry, "with two f's."

"Very well, Potter, this _goff_?"

"Though they have done horrible things in these few first days of term, I suggest we allow them to stay for a while longer, so teacher's can monitor them," he said.

"What horrible things?"

"Sexual intercourse in the bedrooms, public nudity, constant use of profanity, lack of regard of the rules," he glanced at Harry here, who glared back, "and self-harm."

"Severus, these are serious problems. I don't think these four students should be allowed back into the school like this," McGonagall answered.

"Perhaps, Minerva, it would be best if we consulted Professor Dumbledore?" Snape suggested.

"Yes. Now. All of you children, go back to your dormatories. Punishments - yes, Weasley, you _will_ be punished - will be decided in the morning." Ron groaned as they all traipsed out of the room, the remaining three goffs who could speak yelling things at them. Until they were silenced by Snape. The Slytherins, Gryffindors, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw separated, Ernie following the Slytherins down stairs, Luna heading the opposite direction to the others.

"What do you think Dumbledore will say?" Ron asked when they were safely back in the common room, after Harry had retrieved his cloak, which Filch hadn't taken thankfully. Everybody shrugged. Hermione and Ginny separated from Harry, Ron and Seamus when they reached the stairs for the dormatories.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19. 4 Goffs, 4 houses

AN: I warned you the chapters would get longer, that last one was nearly 2000 words. I'm just used to writing longer chapters because of my original story on fictionpress (read here: s/3048522/1/The-Second-Ones, only the first 10 chapters are up right now, I was waiting until it got more interest to upload the other 18). Yes, I did just advertise on here lol. But if you don't wanna read it, that's fine. Anyway, more canon Gryffindors and probably a short chapter right here. I'm running low on ideas for this fic right now, but I promise some soon. BTW, if you have tumblr follow me, my name is ignorance211. Also, when Ebony speaks, I'm gonna stop the exlamation mark-one (!1) thing, it's really annoying to write and read.

HARRY'S POV

Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting at the Gryffindor table for breakfast the next morning, feeling thoroughly exhausted from the previous night's events. Harry slowly ate his cornflakes, dreading the moment McGonagall would come down to doll out their punishment. They all ate in silence. Ginny had sat next to Harry, Seamus next to her, all of them waiting for what was going to happen.

Then it happened, McGonagall stood from the staff table at the front of the Great Hall and briskly strolled towards them. But she wasn't alone... Someone was with her... No, it wasn't... It _couldn't_ be... But it was. Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way was slouching gloomily behind McGonagall. She must have been staying in the room behind the table, he hadn't seen her. The same room where Harry himself had gone two years ago after his name had been drawn from the Goblet of Fire.

"You five, here is your punishement," said McGonagall, pushing Ebony towards them. She'd pulled her hair over her face to hide it. Her black hair. Her all black hair, with no stupid highlights or dye. She pushed Ebony in between Ron and Hermione, who were sat on the side McGonagall was stood at.

"What do you mean, she's our punishement?" asked Harry rudely. "_Professor_," he added, in a bid to sound more polite.

"It's your job to make sure she drops this whole "goffik" thing. You five have to make her normal," she said.

"That's not fair, what about the Slytherins, or Luna, or Ernie?" Ginny protested.

"They all have their own goff," said McGonagall, looking over her shoulder at the other three tables. Sitting with Luna and Cho Chang was Tara, sitting with Ernie, Zacharias Smith and Hannah Abott (though Cho, Zacharias and Hannah hadn't actually been out last night) was Raven, and sandwiched in between Crabbe and Goyle on the furthest table was Justin. Malfoy had obviously moved from his seat since the last time Harry had looked, since he was no longer there.

"But why do we get the leader?" asked Ron.

"Because there's more of you than the others, and because it seems you were the brains behind this all. Especially you, Miss Granger," Hermione lowered her head and stared at her cereal, though something very interesting was going on. Without another word, McGonagall left.

"So, what do you do for fun?" Ginny asked Ebony a few moments later.

"Im goffik, i dunt hav fun," muttered Ebony, lifting her head a fraction. They all saw she was now free of makeup, though they hadn't been able to part her from her drab goff clothes.

"What do you do... ever, then?"

"I slit muh ristz nd lezzin 2 MCR!" she shouted.

"_Silencio_," muttered Hermione when Ebony started yelling about MCR. Ebony, upon noticing she couldn't speak, began waving her arms frustratedly.

"What can we do to help her become more normal?" asked Ron.

"Teach her some spells?" suggested Seamus.

"What? And have her attack us?" scoffed Ron.

"It was just a thought," countered Seamus. The pair glowered at each other.

"Get her anger sorted," said Ginny. "Thank god it's Saturday, we can get something done before lessons."

"Why don't we - and by that I mean you Hermione - erase her memory of all this goff and MCR stuff?" said Ron.

"Because it takes up too big a part of her life. We might be erasing a quarter of her whole lifetime in memories. It won't be too hard without the other goffs here to ware her down," explained Hermione. "We'd better just take her to the common room now. Come on Ebony..." Hermione got up, pulling Ebony with her by her wrist, but she shrieked suddenly. Harry now saw Hermione's hand covered in fresh blood. Blood coming from Ebony's wrists.

"_Vulnera sanentur_," hissed Hermione three times, pointing her wand at the girl's heavily scarred and bloody wrists. The wounds healed, much to Ebony's silent anguish. "_Tergeo_," said Hermione, removing the blood from Ebony's and her own hands'. But then, silencio wore off.

"WTF R U DOIN U PREP!?" yelled Ebony, causing most heads in the room to turn and look. Then, Ebony made a break towards the Slytherin table where Justin sat. "OMFG JUSTIN I LUV U!" she was screaming.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" shouted Ernie, pointing his wand at Ebony who fell to the floor.

"_Locomotor_," muttered Hermione wearily, and Ebony hovered over to the door and the Gryffindors all left their breakfasts behind so follow.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20. The Breaking of Enoby

"_Finite_," Hermione said the counter-jinx to the full body-bind that had been used on Ebony. She was pushed into a chair by the fire, and she had now started swearing again. Incredibly loudly, much to the annoyance of everybody else in the room. Neville, who had been finishing some herbology homework, wandered over to them to see what was going on. Hermione silenced Ebony again when she saw Neville, followed by Lavender and Parvati coming up to them.

"What are you doing with _her_?" asked Lavender, looking at the raving Ebony, disgusted.

"A punishment," answered Ron grimly. "Hermione transfigured her into an owl last night, after Malfoy lured her outside and he, me, Harry, Seamus and Ernie Macmillan stunned her. So, now we've got to make her normal."

"Didn't McGonagall nearly die last year when she was hit five times?" asked Neville, confused. Harry nodded. "So... Why is she alright?"

"We don't know," said Harry, " know any plants that might help us?"

"Well, there _is_ this one... Oh but it's extinct... Nevermind," he said, then he wandered back over to the table to do his homework, feeling like a failure once again. Harry always felt sorry for Neville.

"Oh, I know, a cheering charm!" suggested Lavendar brightly.

"Yes, that'll work!" said Hermione excitedly. She quickly cast the cheering charms they had learnt the previous year for their O. , just as silencio had worn off.

Ebony sighed and grinned to herself. But that was it. Usually, those were the effects of a very weak cheering charm, and Hermione's would have been top-level. It should affect her more than this. But it had stopped the rage and the swearing. If somebody just followed her round all the time casting cheering charms, that would work. But, Harry thought, that was a stupid idea.

"Feeling better?" asked Ginny sarcastically, pretending to be concerned for Ebony's wellbeing. Though Ebony nodded dreamily.

"I feel..." she muttered, "I feel... Not depressed... Why was I depressed?" she asked.

"We don't know," said Hermione, "do you remember?"

"Because of... Romance... and Chemicals... And Gerard..." she droned airily.

"Forget about those things, those things aren't important, learning magic is important. And being happy, you're happy now. Do you like being happy?" Hermione said, trying to be a therapist.

"...Yes... Happy is _good_!" she cried, having an epiphony.

"Yes, Happy is good! It's good!" clapped Ginny mockingly, though Ebony was too out of it to notice the intended sarcasm. Dean walked into the common room just then, and headed over to the group.

"Hermione, McGonagall's got a message for you," he said.

"Oh?" said Hermione, startled. It was usually Harry who got messages from teachers.

"She says Ebony's clothes are in your dormatory on a spare bed that's been put up there," he replied, before strolling over to stand by Seamus.

"Oh. Great," said Hermione grimly.

"Somebody should go get rid of the goff clothes," said Harry.

"Wha? Not my clothes..." drawled Ebony.

"You're clothes are rubbish, Ebony. We'll get you nice clothes," said Ron.

"Oh. OK then..." she said, drifting off into a daydream again. Hermione rushed off with Ginny to go get rid of the clothes, asking the remaining boys to carry on brainwashing Ebony.

"You know MCR?" asked Seamus. "They're rubbish. You shouldn't listen to them."

"Oh... OK... I won't..." she said airily. Seamus chuckled to himself.

Nearly twenty minutes later, after performing complex vanishing charms, Hermione and Ginny returned. And it was then the Hermione's cheering charm wore off, causing another outbreak of swearing and mentions of preps. It appeared the brainwashing hadn't worked too well. Hermione cast a horrifically powerful cheering charm, so powerful it shouldn't be cast on humans for fear of reducing them to insanity, but all it did for Ebony was make her act more like a normal person. Albeit a ridiculously happy normal person. But normal enough. That cheering charm lasted two hours, and they spent all of it telling her not to listen to MCR, not to swear, not to self-harm or have sex. In fact, they spent most of the day doing this, but by eight o'clock Ebony was so exhausted from the charms she went to bed.

"Think something's getting through to her?" asked Ron. Harry shrugged. Seamus and Dean were doing some DADA homework in a corner, and Ginny had gone to talk to her friends.

"No idea. Maybe. Maybe not. We should probably go to the library though," said Harry.

"Are you turning into Hermione? All this library talk," Ron laughed. Hermione went red and glared at him.

"Tomorrow," said Harry, "if we go now we'll just have Madam Pince breathing down our necks. And Ebony might wake up, nobody else here can cast a cheering charm that powerful. And we should probably visit Hagrid some time soon."

"We'll we've got all of tomorrow to do that," said Ron, stretching out.

"Don't you have homework to do?" said Hermione bitterly, having already finished her homework.

"Blimey yeah, we've got that potions essay to do for Slughorn," said Ron, getting up.

So Harry and Ron spent the remainder of the night doing dull homework, and only got to bed three hours later, when they were thoroughly exhausted. Some time later Harry awoke to screaming. It was a few moments before he realized it wasn't inside his head, and it was actually Ebony from the girls dorm. Though she was quickly silenced. Probably by a cheering charm.

AN: OK, I know it's the start of the year, and in HBP Hagrid was angry at them for the whole beginning because they didn't pick Care of Magical Creatures for the N.E. , but just... You know... Pretend or whatever. I'm not doing a pointless timelapse JUST so it makes sense with the HBP story, since this is nothing really to do with that. Just so you know. Also, thanks to all the people who are still reading this :D


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21. The Curse of The Goffs

AN: If you like this follow it I promise regular, daily updates on weekdays, on the weekend expect maybe two or three new chapters per day. Until this is finished. Also, I'm changing Seamus to Neville for a couple of reasons. A), because he's not as main a character as Neville is, B) because he doesn't have a nickname in My Immortal, and I need to use those nicknames.

HARRY'S POV

That Sunday the three of them had managed to coax Ginny and Seamus onto Ebony-Watch, Neville producing very poor cheering charms that needed to be refreshed every few minutes, so instead they'd taken to stunning her, which was much easier, while Harry, Ron and Hermione scavenged the library for books on vampires and powerful stunning spells.

Unfortunately, after a few long hours of reading, they'd found nothing about vampires saying they were resistant to spells. In fact, a lot of books read that they were more vunerable if anything. Nothing made sense. So, Hermione went to get permission to view the Restricted Section from a teacher. She didn't say which, just _a_ teacher, leaving Harry and Ron to continue looking.

She arrived back twenty minutes later whith a small piece of partchment which she showed to Madam Pince, who grudgingly let the three of them into the Restricted Section. There were more books on vampires, complete with grotesque descriptions of victims and graphic drawings too. But nothing about being resistant to spells. The only creatures Harry knew that didn't really respond when they were charmed or stunned were giants and dragons, and Ebony was definitely neither.

They were about to give up, when Ron came across a book titled _The Darkest Creatutres in Existence_. He skimmed through it, but stopped abruptly when he found a picture of a group of people dressed all in black, all with dyed hair, all wearing makeup, all with the same logo on their clothes: written there, on their shirts, was one word. _Goffik_.

"How old is this book?" asked Harry, pulling it out of Ron's hands and reading the date on the back. It was over 100 years old, yet the people here looked exactly the same as the modern-day goffs. Harry checked the date scrawled underneath the photo, 110 years old. He read the description of the picture out-loud.

"_The picutre on the right shows the most evil type of creature. These are goffs, be careful not to confuse them with goths, they are very different. Goffs obsess over muggle bands, are constantly depressed, obsessed with self harm, desire and bloodlust. They often believe they are vampires. In their blood is a special repellant against spells, lessening the effect of any hex, charm, curse or jinx put on them. Some say they have seen a goff hit with _Avada Kedavra _Curse and survive. There is no cure for goffism, the only way to stop it is to convince the goff to give it up, but this is very hard to do and very few wizards have ever succeeded_," Harry read.

"So we can stop it? We just need to convince Ebony to give up being a goff!" exclaimed Ron loudly. Madam Pince looked over at them suspiciously. They hastily shoved the book back onto the shelf and left the library, heading back to the common room to relieve Neville and Ginny of their burden.

When they arrived back, they saw Ebony, tied to a chair, raving again, covered head to foot in boils. Evidently, somebody (probably Ginny) had used a pimple jinx on her. Hermione gasped and rushed over to help Ebony, but she swore and kicked out.

"Somebody should go tell the others the cure," said Hermione. "Who knows where the common rooms are?"

"Me and Ron know where the Slytherin one is," said Harry, "We'll go tell Malfoy."

"Okay, the rest of you go to the hall and see if there's anybody there," ordered Hermione, "I think I'll watch Ebony."

AN: OK, so i KNOW at the start of this chapter i said daily updates, but it may be every couple of days now ive got school and everything and homework with GCSEs and whatever. So im pretty busy.


	22. Chapter 22

AN: Daily updates my ass as you can probably all tell, but I just re-read the last chapter and remembered how fun writing this was. Okay, so from now on, at least one update a fortnight. Hopefully. I'll make it my New Year's Resolution, to finish this fic. I don't know what'll be going on my life with exams, apologies for misleading people with my "daily updates" promise, but I will not wait four months to post again.

Chapter 22

DRACO'S POV

Draco was curled up in one of the armchairs by the fire in the Slytherin common room, looking out at the Black Lake, which was casting an eerie green glow to the room. Pansy was sitting next to him, stroking his head and cooing, but he was ignoring her, clutching a cup of hot chocolate like it was a lifesaver.

Then, Crabbe lumbered over towards him and stood in front of the fire.

"What do you want?" Draco snarled. Crabbe grunted and nodded towards the door, where he could see Potter and Weasley standing there, access to the common room being blocked by Goyle and Blase. Draco shoved his cocoa into Pansy's all-too-willing hands and got up, shuffling over towards the pair. Weasley muttered something in Potter's ear and they sniggered, but for once Draco didn't care. "What do you want?" he repeated.

"We found the cure for the goffs," said Potter quietly, "but only a few wizards have ever managed to do it."

"Forget it. I'm not getting involved in any more of your schemes, Potter, it's landed me with an idiot locked in a cupboard," he said.

"So what are you going to do with Justin?" challenged Harry. Draco glared at him for a moment, before shrugging meekly. Harry smiled triumphantly. "Are you in, Malfoy?"

"What do we have to do?" he sighed.

"We can't help you, Justin's your problem, but what you have to do is convince them to give up being goffik. It's notoriously difficult," he said. "Although casting regular cheering charms helps a little," he advised, then he and Ron left, leaving Draco to deal with Justin.

HARRY'S POV

Harry and Ron were finally away from the Slytherin common room. But it was then Harry, upon wondering when his next private lesson with Dumbledore would be, though of something that might help.

"What if we used the Pensive and looked at her memories? See if there's anything in her past that triggered this thing," said Harry. Ron shrugged.

"How would we get to Dumbledore's Pensive?" he asked, "would he just let us borrow it?" Harry thought for a moment, before grinning.

"Maybe," he said, "If he's not using it. He might be interested in the goffs anyway."

"Well Hagrid's half-giant, he might know something about blood being resistant to spells. Doubt he knows a way to stop it though, but he might now some powerful spells," said Ron.


End file.
